In Which Kailey Has a Think About Things

Lately I’ve been enjoying (almost) every minute of London, and I think the key was that I adjusted, or changed my perspective, or something just shifted in my thinking. I don’t remember if I told you, but City University is a terrible school. When I first arrived, I found out that they had changed the class roster and I had to choose classes somewhat at random to avoid being sent home. Then, despite the fact that I was promised a professor from the Guildhall School of Music and Drama, I was placed with a student teacher four weeks after the term started. But it gets better. I was only recently allowed access to the practice rooms about a week and a half ago despite my major and my many requests to have access. Other students I know don’t even have “professors” yet for their voice-type/instrument. I’ve started to think of City University not as a school, but as an arena to take place in an extended summer/fall/winter break, as an excuse to be in London and learn my junior recital repertoire.

            The school situation hasn’t changed, but I find myself genuinely enjoying the days I spend here. I’ve been attending King’s Cross Baptist Church, and they allowed me to practice early in the mornings, effectively solving my practice problem. My buddy Pete who lives there and takes care of students (BTW what is his job title?) shuffles down in the morning only half an hour after he’s woken up to let me in and put on the space heater. This is because he’s awesome.

            Another change of perspective that’s let me enjoy myself more is to never go into any place in London expecting to get anything done. Don’t get your hopes up for anything. It may sound defeatist, but if you’re coming from the US, and more than that, a school that just knows how to get stuff done, this attitude is more like an indifferent coping mechanism. Sure, see if you can print your paper, but if it gets carried away in the pile four times and you end up being late to class, don’t sweat it. Just have a back up plan and try again later. Sure, leave the house with the intention of buying groceries, but if it ends up taking three times longer than it should take because the attendees have to come over and make you sign for your card while you’re using the self-checkout kioks, and then when you pay with cash, the machine eats all your money and someone has to come out and figure out how much you put in before the machine ate all your money, and then someone else has to come and unlock the machine to give you back your money and then you have to do everything all over again, don’t worry about it. (Yes, I know that was a run-on sentence.) You’ll walk out with groceries regardless, just plan time into your schedule for everyone else to figure out what their job is while you wait. If you go into a store planning on returning something, don’t expect the person behind the counter to know what the company’s return policy is. I mean this in all sincerity. It makes your life easier and happier if when you’re living in London, you expect nothing to go in your favor. If you set the expectation bar low, when a few things fall into place at a decent pace, you’ll just find yourself ecstatic.

            But if I’m going to be completely honest, the more I adjust to life in London the farther away home feels. The other night I had a dream that I was back home, and as I drove through the wide, open roads and passed the suburban buildings spaced so far apart, the whole place seemed so strange to me. I woke up and realized that culture shock will be very real for me when I get home.  

            If I go home, I will have to say goodbye, and the longer I’m away from home, the harder goodbyes will be. The longer I’m here the more they loom on the horizon. When I left home, I said goodbye to my friends and family. I spent a week preparing myself for my exit with visits and conversations, with kisses and hugs, but I knew I would see them again soon. Now people I hold more and more dear everyday surround me, and I can’t guarantee my exit will be so soft, so easy this time. I can’t guarantee I’ll be back so soon.